A: There are many definitions of ego. In the fields of psychiatry and psychology, ego is thought to be part of one’s mental apparatus that must be kept in balance in order to be healthy. Outside of these fields, ego is generally equated with being self-centered, which is why it is commonly demeaned with terms like “big ego,” “egocentric,” “egotistical,” and “being on an ego trip.” The broader definition of ego, which is the definition used in Beyond the Ego, is based on the fact that ego is Latin for “I,” and “I” is who one thinks he or she is. Collectively, ego is who “we” think we are as a species.
Q: What does it mean to get “beyond the ego,” and why is it important to do so?
A: Throughout the course of human history, and still today, we have unconsciously thought of ourselves as separate and isolated beings in the world. This definition is called ego consciousness. It is fraught with problems because as separate beings we must strive to get one-up on others in order to survive. Both individually and collectively, one-upmanship creates conflict and division, unhappiness and suffering. To move “beyond the ego” means to move beyond ego consciousness into the realm of Spiritual Consciousness. From a Spiritual perspective, we are not separate beings in an alien world; We Are All One. This definition of who we are breeds happiness, joy, peace, cooperation, love, compassion, benevolence, and charity to all.
Q: Can you clarify how ego consciousness causes pain and suffering?
A: Our mistaken belief that we are disconnected beings in the universe causes us to feel small, inferior, insignificant, insecure, unimportant, and irrelevant. To cope with these painful feelings, we unconsciously compensate, which means we behave in ways that are exactly the opposite: big, important, over-adequate, superior, and so on. These types of behaviors cause much fallout, both for the one acting out his or her sense of superiority and for those on the receiving end as well. People who act superior are often shunned by others, usually feel offended from things said or done by those whom they perceive as inferior, and commonly fall from their positions of superiority in poor health or disgrace.
Those on the receiving end of superiority-related behaviors tend toward feelings of inferiority, which causes widespread hurt, dissatisfaction, and suffering—for example, self-esteem issues, the kinds of friends one chooses, relationship issues, gaining the confidence necessary to perform well at school or on the job, loneliness, depression, and more of the same.
On a larger scale, think of all the wars and other injustices that have occurred in history from one country behaving as if they were superior to one or more of the others.
Q: How long does it take to get beyond one’s ego?
A: To go from ego consciousness to Spiritual Consciousness is more than a one-time decision. It is a journey, and everyone’s timeline for making this journey is different. The most important point to remember is that one begins to find happiness and peace from the very beginning, and these feelings continue to grow as one proceeds. When one experiences the joy of receiving these Spiritual gifts, how long it takes to get completely beyond one’s ego becomes almost irrelevant.
Q: Does every person have the potential to get beyond his or her ego?
A: Yes. Of course, there are factors that come into play that make the journey unique to every individual—readiness, commitment, ability to focus, mental alertness, and one’s level of patience. But these things are related more to the duration of the journey than the potential to take it.
Q: What happens if one starts the journey beyond the ego but doesn’t complete it?
A: It is difficult to become unaware once one is aware. However far you go on your journey, to that degree you will benefit. Once one gets a feeling of the real joy that comes from getting beyond one’s ego, it is unlikely he or she will want to suddenly stop.
Q: Can someone who is devout in their religious beliefs benefit from the book or is it written more for people who are nonreligious?
A: Beyond the Ego is about Spirituality, which is the vital principle or animating force in which we live and move and have our being. Spirituality as it is used in this book is not intended to represent the beliefs or traditions of any particular religion, knowing full well that the essence of Spiritual truth is encased—however obscurely—in each of them. Regardless whether a person is religious or nonreligious, anyone who is interested in the pursuit of Spiritual truth can benefit equally.
Q: I’ve always thought that ego was a bad thing, something that we need to overcome. Is this true?
A: Ego is not a good thing or a bad thing. It is a state of consciousness that everyone learns at a very early age based on the misconception of who we are as beings. It is something everyone must go through to arrive at a state of Spiritual Awareness. Ego leads us to much unhappiness and suffering because having misidentified ourselves, we try to behave in ways that are incongruent with whom we really are. In this state of unawareness as to what ego is and how it functions, it is only natural to think of ego in the narrow sense as having a superiority complex, which by all appearance is something that must be crushed or conquered. But ironically, trying to overcome ego only feeds it. The way out of one’s suffering is not to overcome or crush ego, but to learn the subtleties of how ego functions. Once we understand these dynamics, we can accept ego for what it is and then go beyond it.
Q: Can’t ego be an emotionally healthy thing too?
A: Only in the medical definition of the word. Freud, for example, proposed that ego is the arbitrator between id and superego. As such, ego must be kept in balance to do its job properly. This definition of ego is old and limiting. In general usage, ego has developed a strikingly negative connotation—for example, referring to someone as being an “egomaniac”—but this proves to be a very narrow definition of the term. Ego is now more broadly understood to mean how we define our selves, who we are as beings. We define ourselves as separate and disconnected entities based on our experiences early in life during our most formative years, and we are just now awakening to the painful ramifications of this mistaken identity. Emotional health, then, lies in getting beyond the ego and experiencing the real definition of who we are as beings—All One—which is to experience our true Spiritual essence.
Q: How does the core message of Beyond the Ego line up with the teachings of the great Spiritual Traditions, for example Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, and Judaism?
A: It aligns perfectly. All of these Spiritual Traditions are based on the premise that lasting joy and peace are not found in the impermanence of external things. Rather, they are found within. When we go within, we journey into ourselves, and a journey into self is a journey into ego. By doing so, we are in effect launching an expedition in search of our source through self-awareness. We are looking within to explore what causes our anguish and suffering in order to free ourselves from it. There we discover our release from ego’s prison and our true nature, which is Spirit—the fountainhead of lasting happiness, joy, love, and peace. These are precisely the gifts that each of the Spiritual Traditions promise.
Q: Is Beyond the Ego similar to Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth?
A: Both books are rooted in the same basic principles, and each is a valuable complement to the other. Beyond the Ego presents you with an intimate understanding of ego’s destructive presence in everyday life. In addition, getting beyond your ego can be a perilous journey since ego, to ensure its own survival, makes every attempt to derail you along the way. Beyond the Ego is an easy to follow, step-by-step approach for how to safely take this journey.
Q: What are the benefits of reading Beyond the Ego?
A: You will find the benefits listed on the home page under the heading, “How This Book Is Unique.” In a nutshell, it can help you become a more joyous and peaceful individual; it will deepen your understanding of yourself and the behavior of others; it can significantly change how you relate to the world and to other people; and it will give you a perspective of life that is filled with hope, love, peace, compassion, happiness, and joy as a result of awakening to who we really are as beings.
